People in the world today always think that specialist is better than a generalist. It can be seen from the school that were built, they all have their own major or specialist in. But eventually not all specialists are better than generalists.

Specialists are able to contribute more to the world. Without specialist there won't be any siginificant improvement in every aspect of life. For example eye specialist, cardiologist, or even engineering in various field such as electric, mechanical which can focus on their field and make improvement there. Without these specialist, people will still lack on technology and a lot of sickness won't be cured since people focus on general thing and there won't be any advanced technology in electronics devices.

There is a common concept that people tend to believe in specialist more than generalist. In case on a doctor, if we have an eyesight problem, we won't go to general doctor to examine us, we will go straight to an eye doctor. And for the case on heart attack, people won't trust to be operated by a general doctor. They respect cardiologist more than this general doctor. Another one is for example in the engineering field, people will tend to hire an electrical engineering on the electronic company compare to hire a generalist. People think that specialist is more proffesional and accurate since they are expert in that spesific field. So that, in the world today specialists are more highly overrated in the society.

In stead of all the society think about specialists above. actually generalist can see perspective from broader and different point of view that specialists have. Small example is on an organization, everyone has their own section and working on their own team, but a manager is still needed to oversee the work of team as a whole. A manager or a generalist can see things broader than the every section can see. If we can see from broader view, if a simple organization as the world today. A generalist is surely needed.

With the world point of view that specialists are better than generalists, it isn't always true. Both, generalists and specialists, work together is needed to make significant effect and improvement. Generalist won't survive without specialists and the other way around, specialists won't be useful without generalists.

Yup, just now after I queed for my lunch in the crowded canteen A and brought the plate back to my seat, I had to pass the few steps, which made me thinking. What if I fall down while carrying this plate. Perhaps accidentally I step on the tip of my pants and fell at the steps.  Hmm...it will be surely hurt, and perhaps the food on my plate will split everywhere, including on my t-shirt, people will look at me and not helping me. Then I continued thinking what if my teeth are broken and blood is everywhere, hehehhe ... :p Okay, it's a way too far my imagination. These were actually reminded my of my childhood. If you brought something and you fell, what you need to do was just CRY, then your parents or other adults would come and take care of everything, You wouldn't need to be embarass or shy. But now, if you cry when these things happened, whoa..........it will be so strange, isn't it. Now, whenever you fall, you have to get up by yourself with no one's helping you. Just like the life we experience. Whenever we fall, we have to be strong and get up! OOoo....I miss those childhood day...hehehe :p

Lately I have a new hobby since there was no internet that time at my new room, and I don't feel like to study GRE. So I started to read my books. This one particular one book is really good, called "EVERY YOUNG WOMAN's BATTLE". Although at the earlier chapter is more relevant to youngster in USA, but I think we as a young woman should know about it. What is more important is a sentence about Love. A statement that reminded me about my own idea of it. Love is a comitmment. That's what I was thinking a lot nowadays. When a relationship already on its point where no more emotion or romantic or fire flashing at each other hearts, comitmment is really important to bound each other.

That's made me think about my own relationship. Almost 3 years that I have been together with this particular guy. He is sweet, cute, and have a very big heart. During our courtship, I always remember what my mom has said to me. She said that guy is actually will be very kind at the beginning, and then when you get married, you will know that he is not that good. In the mean, there won't be holding hands, no more sweet surprises, or romantic letters. That's why I do really wanted to enjoy the moment, the only moment. Yup it was true, it was last for almost 2 years. Now, the time has ended. We were busy with our own things, friends, seldom have time with each others. Ironically, when we are together, we often argue about small things.

Often I felt dissatisfied with my own feeling. Why I felt like that, why I am so sensitive about small things, easy to be hurt. Once again I was reminded through the book about what is a really true meaning of a relationship. Actually is not important whether you get hurt or not, the important thing is whether you can support each other to glorify Him even more. These far what I always thinking is about me, my own self, often I self-pity about my feeling. But after thinking, it was a selfish thing to do. I think I am not mature enough in this relationship so far. So I am going to pray hard for this.

Another book I read I borrowed from one of my friend called "ANAK PERDAMAIAN", is about a missionary to Irian. The book it's scarry I think. I can't think of myself in the middle of a jungle. Yaiks.....Oh no....  

Just now, by a word in a birthday celebration one of my friend, I just realized something important which effected my life but I never knew that. Fight is the 5 letter which form a single word. Very powerful word to me.What I am talking about this fight is not literally a fight when you see people punch each other or hit others. But is the fight of life. Just like one of the important scientist, Charles Darwin, stated, the survive of the fittest. It is still exist and even effected human race.

I am thinking of how I live my life so far. How I have handled problems, friends, happiness, etc. Live is full of fighting. As a matter a fact is a very huge fighting area. When I was a kid, I was fighting for the best in my class, hunger for praises from teachers, friends and my parents. I think that what is still happening now, I am still hunger for acknowledgement from friends. I always wanted them to know that I am better than them. But in reality, I always failed that, it was ended by me thinking, that whether I am not that great as I thought.

During high schools am university lives, I am hunger of popularity, fought for friends to like you, to have a good impression for you. So that they may say good things about you during your birthday. But for me, good things said for your birthday is really not meaningful. The person who knew you should say bad things about you so that you can improve right?

I do regret why I don't build such a relationship during my 2nd and 3rd year, since I am in a relationship, I think I was to exclusive that time. To reach and chase the friendship is such a hard thing to do now, but still I am fighting for it. For I know that a relationship can be ended, but not a friendship.

With this 2 idealism, I was torn into 2 sides of myself, reasons why I fight for a friendship. Is it so that I won't be lonely, is it for my self gratitude that I am able to have such a lot of friend, or is it for the sake of the friendship itself?

I am tired of fighting. Fight to beat myself from my laziness, my dependence to others. Thank God, that I don't have to fight for His love. Thank God that He loves me purely, that I don't feel like to fight to get His attention and love for me. Thanks God...

This title I got from one of my friend's blog. Have you ever wondering about love. Love is something that somehow you can't see but you only can feel it. Whenever somebody falls in love you can see it from her eyes, her smile hehehhe....everything. So what is this thing called love?

Love is a thing that can make a disaster to the world, make war. I prefer to use woman actually rather than love. If you remember a movie called hmmm...I forgot the title. it's about Roman empire, Brad Pit played in the movie. Perhaps TROY? Do you remember why they have war? It was because a pretty lady called Helena. So do you know this power called love? There're alot of other things that caused by a thing called love.

If a guy falls in love, he will do anything for this girl he likes, he will just like bending his knees under this lady. Perhaps he was untidy before, but for this girl he can change. To change people is to change life. So this thing called love has a powerfull effect for somebody's life.

Ya, today is the day when my mom and dad go back to Jakarta. Sigh....very sad...Btw I bought quite alot clothes hehehehe since they were cheap, around 10 dollar hehehe...I remember the advice my mom gave to me before she went back, " Please don't be so fat, diet, eat more fruit and ask for less rice whenever you eat. " Hahaha....I try ok? So far I am enjoying my life by eating what I like, as long as I am happy I won't care what others said about me, although I want to be slim and pretty too just like Song Hye Kyo huhuhuhu......

But then, I feel that the desire to be pretty and slim are not strong enough. Another important thing to be considered is being healthy. Do you realize that maybe when we are young we can eat anything we like without any threat of cholestrol or heart attack, perhaps you can't detect now, but later it occurs when you are older. Just like what my father taught me about healthy life, he himself jogs 2 times a day (every morning and evening) and he does it everyday. And he doesn't eat any oily things, diet, no coffee and smoking at all and eats so many fruits, fish and vegetables. Still then he got some blockage on his artery. So for the sake of healthy life, I will be diet and do sport! 

My parents will be in Singapore from 7-11 Dec 2005, too bad that it will last only for 2 days more. Somehow I feel that I was in the different world when I was with my parents. And now I am here at my room just to attend the briefing on increase of rental fee. Feel like I just woke up from  a dream that my parents came. And tomorrow I will have another dream. It was not so fun, but like in a dreamland, feel such like in another dimension, while in my own room just like getting back to reality, alone. and independent. Sigh....miss them so much. My mom still the same hehehhe......very funny and my dad too, he's bossy hehehe......asking people to do things, but then I miss them. Miss of their hugs and love.

After these few days, reality is coming, since I have to do my progress presentation on FYP. Hiks......no more fun.....

I will be moving to the new hall on 23-28th Dec. And they are going to increase the fee almost 2 times higher. I don't know how. The JCRC will fight for us, at least that's what they said just now during the briefing.

Whenever I went out with my parents, I always feel this terrible headache. At 1st I thought I was lack of food, then I thought of lacking in sleeping. But then I realise it's my glasses. Few days ago, my aunt gave me a bottle of garlic chilli and when I wanted to put it to the fridge, it's fallen. And I only wiped my hands with tissue and then my eyes were a bit itchy, so I rubbed my eyes. Since then, my eyes were very pain and emitted tears so much and suddenly I felt awkward wearing my glasses. Something wrong with my eyes! The left eyes was confusing, sigh....what's wrong? I think I got the headache because my eyes had to accomodate everytime and they worked so hard until I had headache. Hopefully that my eyes can get use to it soon and will be ok.

At first I decided to try few domains for my blog. So I have few blogs actually and I decided to make this blogdrive is only written in English. And I have one more in Indonesia. I wanted to dedicate that to my parents, since they can't understand english very well. At first I want to translate every entry I made there, but then I realized that eventually my parents didn't read my Indonesian blog (they're not online all the time). So I continue to write in English. During the exam, I decided to write in Indonesia again since it's easier to express yourself and in blogspot I can put the photo easier, since they'll minimize for you. so if you curious what happening with me during that time, you can go here. But this totally in Indonesia.
Just now I read all my entry before, and just like a dejavu. I felt it's just like yesterday I was on IA and started my blog and now I am already in my final year. Like yesterday, I worried to choose my FYP and now I am doing my FYP.

Once again I felt the ups and down, specially during this semester. Just like yesterday I attended the "Cat and Dog Theology" and got burn by the spirit. And now I am here, can't think a single thing about Christianity. I am in the middle of midst. I don't know where to go. I can't see myself anywhere in the future. My hope for SMA seems vanished. I don't know why. Everything looks so blur and ruin. I don't know who I am anymore.

After a very tough few nights, thinking selfishly about myself, blaming God about everything, I shared this burden to a friend, and thank God, He works through this friend. I have been touched and thought. ALthough not long, but thanks God that I read all this blog entry just now that I realize how nice God is to me. He is real in my life. How can I doubt Him. It still be a long journey for me in my growth and maturity to be close with Him. BUt I promise that I will stay loyal. Help me Lord through your holy spirit.

I admitted that I scared to die for Him. I do not know why. Clearly I already know that I have to spread the gospel and die is just another door to eternal life. Just like a ticket to go to a wonderful place. Why I would scare? The answer is still the same, my selfishness, I don't wat to live for Someone else. I just want to live for myself, my own satisfy, my own happiness, my own purpose. That's the problem. Self center. Maybe I don't know better the salvation means to me clearly that I am still self center.  

When you come from the overhead bridge towards hall 12-15, there is a small path to left and go down the stairs, and you will find such a lovely place to study there. In the afternoon, there will be soft wind blows and make you feel sleepy hehe...but doesn't matter, I still can awake. At night unfortunatelly there will be quite a lot of mosquitoes.

 

 

Goddie bag from Ci mel

Before that I would like topost my picture at the canteen hahaha....meeting old friends from hall 3: Lala and Tika...

 

And a tablet PC I borrowed from my friend to do my presentation. Very cool huh?